Dear Miss Emily:

A while ago, when my boyfriend was "unsure" of his feelings, I drifted into the arms of his friend. He banned me from speaking to him and that led to some lies and betrayal. Then, when my boyfriend’s friend found out I had sex with my boyfriend, he got really upset and started teasing me. This incident was a couple months ago. I still sometimes secretly call my boyfriend’s friend which is now his "ex" best friend, not to talk sexually or cheat or anything, but to see how he is. He is very suicidal. But now my boyfriend threatened that if I ever talk to this guy again, he will kill himself. I told his friend about this and his friend says he won't be able to forget about me or move on for that matter. I can't get him to try and forget about me.  I care about him, but I love my boyfriend of three years and care about his safety. It's just, I know I can't have both, and I don't want to have both.  I just want the friend to have a good and happy life and not be sad. But I'm not going to endanger my boyfriend's health to keep another happy. I need help to show this boy that he needs to forget about me, and I want to show my boyfriend that I'm not going anywhere and that I will be truthful to him. It's just, my boyfriend's old friend loves me, but he needs to understand that life will get better and he will find happiness with someone else. Any advice? What should I do? How should I deal with both of them? Because my boyfriend  is very paranoid and it's all my fault, I have to be able to let this boy go so I can be honest with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I do have feelings of love for his friend, but not to the extent of my boyfriend. I just wish I could get my head on straight.
Walking a fine line

------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------

Dear Walking:

Two guys threaten suicide if you leave them? Wow, what are the odds?  I don’t mean to make light of this, but who are these people that their lives hang in the balance based on what you decide? You have moved in several directions with both of these men and if they were stable, rational people they would stop making irrational demands and go on with their lives with or without you.  If you truly want to be with your boyfriend and you feel he’s worth the trouble (despite his fragile status) cut off all ties with the other guy. He’s not going to kill himself and, if he did it wouldn’t be because you walked away. It would be that you gravitate to some very odd individuals, and I’d concentrate on why this is the case rather than you believing that your importance in their lives has become a life and death issue.  Get real. Get honest.  And get a backbone!