Dear Miss Emily:

My question is that my ex and I have been kinda seeing each other for about 1 year and half now and it seems like she has to hide me from everyone.  And I like spending time with our 4 year old daughter, but I have some life problems that don't make me very dependable or responsible in any way to help support her, in which it makes me feel very crappy! She told me when I started back in school to work very hard at it so I did and I have got my GED and then a job that was ok but it didn't really help all that much.  Well then, I got let go due to the fact of down size, a month and half goes by and I decided to join the navy for more schooling and a career for my future and child’s future.  She didn't like that at first and wanted me to stay and that she would buy a house and I could stay with her and our relationship would be better when she was done with school.  Another month goes by and she starts to ignore me and it seems like she wants nothing to do with me, so I called like 50 times to get her attention.  Even her friend and she both flipped out on me saying that neither one of them wanted anything to do with me. I don't understand what is going on.  She won't talk to me.  Any advice you can give would be appreciated.
Shipping out

---------------------------Miss Emily’s advice--------------------

Dear Shipping:

You cannot support your child (loss of job, and a history of life problems), and you joined the Navy.  This decision of yours has merit, but it sets new ground rules for the future. Your ex is in disagreement of your plans, but you must follow through on your decision. Remember, you have rights to your child and visitation should be settled before you leave for service.  If you don’t have the money, go to the city and ask them if they have free legal aid for financially-strapped individuals.  I know things didn’t work out the way you, or those who know you, had planned, but you have chartered a new course.  Live with the decision, grow from it and be the best man and father you can be to your daughter. If your ex doesn’t agree with your new plan, well, that’s her problem. She cannot dictate your life and the direction it will take.  Remember that you are in charge of your life and no one else. Don’t dwell on the past, and look forward to a bright, new future. Good luck to you.  I wish you the very best.