Dear Miss Emily:

My job takes a lot of hours during the day, driving, and I always have
hours of paperwork in the evening.  I'm getting married in a few months,
and my girlfriend says she understands, but I’m worried this will not be
the case after we're married.  I want to make a good life for both of us,
but I don't know how to keep balance in my life.
Working hard and puzzled

------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------- 


Dear Puzzled:

When you say you don’t know how to keep balance in your life, it suggests one of two things: It’s impossible with your insanely demanding work schedule or, it’s possible but, up until now, you haven’t tried.  No doubt you are good at your job, because you are regimented and, maybe a bit of a perfectionist?  Short of spending couch time with Dr. Phil, ask yourself if you can space your evening paperwork – do tasks that can be done when your girlfriend is busy, and not sitting alone on the sofa watching reruns of Sex and the City, and wondering if she’s made a mistake.  That said, hopefully you are marrying someone who truly does understand and accepts who you are, and not someone who hopes you will change once the vows are spoken.