Dear Miss Emily,

My boyfriend and I have been going out for nine months now. This is our second time being together. At first, everything was going well, we rarely ever fought and he always wanted to spend all his time with me.  Now things are different. He doesn’t spend as much time with me.  He doesn’t tell me how much he loves me like he used to.  I’m always scared he might be doing something while he’s with his friends. I don’t know what to do anymore.  I feel so in love with him that I’m too scared to let go. The last thing I want to do is break up. It’s like I know he loves me, but I just wish he would show me a lot more. Is that too much to ask?  I don’t know whether I have the problem or he does. Also, I get mad at him for stupid things and I cant help it.  I really love him, and we're really young (im 14 and he's 16), but we want to be together forever more than anything. How are we suppose to make things work if we fight? Should we take a break? Do you know anything we could try to make our relationship more healthy and fun?
Fourteen Going on Forty

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Fourteen:

You are all over the map of this one.  Things were going well – and now he treats you differently.  You love him and he loves you, and you want to be together forever, more than anything.  First, please believe me when I say that I understand what you are feeling, and in no way do I wish to insult you for these feelings.  However, forever and ever at fourteen and sixteen is not being realistic.  Your boyfriend is probably feeling the pressure of this relationship (the second time around), because you’ve wrapped your world around his world.  It seems pretty suffocating, to me.  I sense a girl who’s somewhat paranoid and needy when you don’t trust him if he’s out-of-sight and you “get mad at him for stupid things.” Is this what a fourteen year-old girl should be doing?  In fact, should anyone do this?  I know that boys are born with a sense of entitlement and girls often are delegated to a subservient role, but those patterns can be broken if girls take charge of their lives and feel less-than-adequate to no one.  Get something going in your own life and don’t let him encompass your every waking moment.  If you continue on this path, you two will be going your separate ways and you are destine to repeat your mistakes.  Gather your insecurities and send them packing.  It’s not too late to figure out how to conduct a healthy relationship.  Guys who are worth your time will respect and admire you for your strengths. Who knows, maybe your boyfriend will end up being at the top of your fan-club list if you show him that you are no pushover.