Hi Emily,
Any help at all would be fantastic.  I'm really getting desperate for some advice. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a very long time now, and we've fallen madly for each other. All has been going so great, except for parts of his character. He's often moody, with a lot of mood swings. He gets upset, worried, and stressed very easily, and is easily disturbed. He's had a lot of problems growing up, including many things no child should ever have to go through, and hadn't received any counseling or anything. He also suffers from OCD, and his father is on his way out with a serious case of cancer. He's also recently lost his job. I love him so very much and I want him to be happy, but I'm not quite sure how to help him.  I try to do the best I can but even the littlest things seem to bother him. I know he loves me as much as I do him, but it's getting rough between us because of his character. Knowing what I do about his past, I know it's not his fault and I try to see past it, but I need to find ways to make him stop worrying and try to be happy.  Thanks so much!
Nuts For Him

---------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Nuts:

Well, I hate to the barer of bad news concerning your relationship, but it isn’t up to you to make him happy, it’s up to both of you to be happy together. It’s easy to fall into the trap of giving allowances to those who have come from dysfunctional pasts, and I’m the first to tear up when I hear these sad stories.  But do not delude yourself, any permanent relationship with this type of person is dicey, at best. People only seek help when they are serious about making positive changes in their lives. If your boyfriend settles for moodiness and being easily disturbed, he’s cheating himself, and you, by allowing this to become acceptable behavior – and it’s not.  In time (if you are level headed), you will find yourself losing power to a man who saps you of it, because he cannot face his problems head on.  He needs therapy and, probably, anti-depressants to deal with his past in order to map out a stable future.  If he is not willing to do this, I think you should ask yourself how long you want to keep the status quo. You cannot lead his life for him, but you can emotionally support him if he’s seeks help. Believe me, neurotic can be cute from a character in a movie.  In real life?  It’s a big, unadulterated, unquestionable, outright DRAG!