Dear Miss Emily:

I am in a relationship with someone and she is pregnant.  She has been trying to get rid of me for over 8 months, now.  I have found someone else that I could be with and she has expressed how much she cares about me.  She even wants me to adopt her daughter, and I just don't know if I should be with the other girl or stay with who I'm with and be unhappy. Can you please help me.
To-be Daddy

-----------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------------

Dear To-be:
I am going to assume that the relationship you are in produced this pregnancy.  I only ask that because I get some weird letters, and I wouldn’t stake my life on this being the case.  If it is your child (there are tests), I can’t figure out why this woman has been trying to get rid of you for eight months and ends up in a situation where you are bonded together, for life, by a child.  This is a mess you are going to have to deal with before you make a commitment (I use the term loosely) to anyone else.  The fact that this woman is pregnant with your child, and you are already thinking about adopting another woman’s daughter seems a little hasty in my book; unless your love of children ranks high on your “greatest thrill in the world” list   No one can force you to stay in a bad relationship.  But you have a responsibility (at least, financially) to your child, and if you need to move on, do not plan to ditch your obligations.  Move cautiously into a new relationship, and keep promises to a minimum.  Your attitude about all this seems a little flaky to me.  Face this like a man, and not some kid who treats life issues as if they were someone else’s problems. Good luck ‘cause you’re going to need it.