Dear Mis Emily:

I dated a girl for two yrs. One day she said she wanted experience dating other people and dumped me. Since then she been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. We’ve been friends throughout, but it kills me inside. She walks in and out of my life all the time and she will tell me she’s going to call and, then, never does.  She comes and cuddles with me and tells me how her bf is a jerk. But the next day, they are holding hands and she tells him how much she loves him. I’m hurting so bad.  What should I do?
Heavy Heart

--------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Heavy:

You are on a rudderless ship.  You have allowed yourself, feeling the way you do, to take crumbs from the woman you love.  I can understand why you are compelled to do this, because you can be in her life, all the while hoping she will come to her senses.  It is a fact that there is no magic wand you can wave to get you what you want, so you must take charge of your life and do what, I think, needs to be done.  Tell her how you feel, and this is why:  Suffering in silence is emotionally damaging, and a pity party for one. Honesty will relieve you of the burden of being her emotional lackey, and it will free you to move on with your life without her.  Do not let anger and resentment be the outcome of what you have the power to control. Who knows, once she sees a man who no longer can be used, maybe she’ll take a second look at the new, and improved you.