Dear Miss Emily:

I fell in love.  I met someone and I thought I never would, and I was ok with that. We were happy. and, then, he opened up and told me he had a problem with me taking a class. That class symbolized to him his own depression. I didn't want to drop it, at first, ‘cause I really wanted to take this class and it was presented as something insignificant. Now I'm dropping as soon as I can, and he can't stop going on about how I' m not stopping. Our relationship is falling apart. I feel like all I'm getting is criticism and he never tells me how to fix any problems. Telling me I never bother to try. What am I supposed to do? I know he cares about me, because I've seen so much evidence and I care for him. but I want to be happy with him, again.

--------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------------

Dear Classless:

I’m a little stumped over what class you would be taking to trigger depression in this man, but I don’t think it’s wise to drop the class because of it.  He should not have that kind of control over your life and his criticism of you is a sign of his deep insecurity.  He needs help and your bending to his wishes in neither healthy for him nor you.  Please consider all of these factors before you start blaming yourself for his inadequacies.  I’m sure he cares about you, but if he does not know how to handle his own life, he has no right to call you on your problem solving skills.  Here’s one problem you can fix, however.  Set him straight on how you intend to conduct your life.  If he’s not on board with it, end the relationship.  If you don’t, he’ll suck you of any power you have, and you’ll end up staying with him because you’ve allowed yourself to create a dependent situation.  Find your inner-strength, because if you’re looking to him for help, your effort, more than likely, will become a lesson in futility.