Dear Miss Emily:

Well, my boyfriend/fiancé and I have been together 3 years, on and off, and we sometimes would break up in the past.  When this happened,  he would go get this girl I know and "hang" out with her and, eventually, I would come back because we love each other. Well, she came up pregnant and had a baby in August of last year.  I came up pregnant by my boyfriend and had our baby in Feb., of this year. Well, she didn't know who the father was and has had 3 paternity tests and they all came up negative.  Now she wants my bf to take one. He swears up and down that it isn't his, but I think it is because I've seen pictures and it kinda looks like our baby.  It's going to kill me down inside if it is his.  What should I do, or say?  I’m so confused.
Not Ready For The Truth

----------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Not Ready:

Your fiancé might not think this child is his, but it looks like a process of elimination and she’s narrowed it down to one.  This woman’s child has every right to know his father (despite the frivolous way he was conceived), because it’s not his fault his dad probably thinks condoms are something only fools use because they get in the way of the real thing.  I think he has to face the music and take a paternity test. It may not be his child, but if this woman wants some child support, and if she gets an attorney, the court will order a paternity test, because your fiancé has a legal obligation to support this child IF he is the father.  I know, it sounds yucky and complicated, and not something you want in your life when you have your own child with this man. I really don’t think you have a choice in the matter, unless you live like someone in the witness protection program and sever ties with your former life.  Not a terribly realistic thing to do.  Bite the bullet, find out the truth, and start living your life like responsible adults with a child or children to raise.  Is that at all possible?