Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend, whom I have been dating for 1 yr. 3 months, and I have been a bit rocky lately. It came to my attention the other day that he met up for a drink with another girl (one of his friends that has ALWAYS been rude to me). They went to the bar @ 8:30pm, and he said nothing happened. He didn't tell me about it at all, but I found out by putting 2 and 2 together. I asked if he went to the bar with another girl. He told me, "Yes," but didn't want to tell me because I would have been mad. Well, I was hurt and felt betrayed by the fact that he lied to me (I gave him one opportunity to offer to tell the truth before I called him out on it). I ended up leaving his house hurt and upset, and he refused to talk to me. He won't take any of my phone calls now. What's the deal? Why am I feeling like I am in the wrong? Did I overreact?
Outside Looking In

------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Outside:

I am a firm believer that if two people are devoted to each other, this type of event does not occur because honesty is at the core of the relationship.  He wanted to do this, meet this girl at the bar – the girl that has been rude to you despite his knowing how you would feel if you found out.  This begs the question: Does he even care enough about your relationship to make amends?  Taking into consideration that people get defensive when they are caught in the act of betrayal, and no one likes being told what to do, I tend to think that he is having doubts about continuing your relationship.  You do not trust him to be alone with this girl, and you must ask yourself why this is the case.  It may be that this relationship has run its course, but if he has a decent bone in his body, he’ll sit down and have an honest talk about it rather than leave you wondering why he’s being so cold-hearted.  I would ask him for this discussion with a promise not to go ballistic – and mean it!  If he’s not willing to do this, he’s a gutless wonder and no longer worth your time.  This is never easy, but how many people on this planet have experienced this same, heartbreaking event? An infinite number, I would imagine. If you can, let me know the outcome.