Dear Miss Emily:

What do you do if you like this guy and you think you love him and he is older than you and you are good friends and you probably won’t see him for a year and all you can do is think of him every single day and dream about him and you think you and he are meant to be?? Please help!!!
Driven

------------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------------

Dear Driven:

Are the set of circumstances reasonable in order to pursue a relationship?  Age could be less of a problem than the fact that this guy is going to be gone for a year. This is not the best time to hook-up, unless he's off to Iraq and would relish the idea of having a girl back home. That said, I’m a firm believer in laying the cards on the table, and this is why:  A lot of time is wasted when people choose, for whatever reason, to guess the truth rather than seeking it. You can dream, hope and pray that this guy picks up your true feelings and acts on them, but I think this is wishful thinking that is non-productive.  It’s best to learn, early on in life, that you’ll seldom get what you want unless you ask for it.  Sure there’s the risk of rejection but, ultimately, it’s worth it.  Bite the bullet and say (in a way that might make you look like you are waiting for a knockout punch) “You know, I’ve been hiding the fact that I really like you a lot more than you probably realize.” Now he is given the opportunity to be honest with you.  If he says thanks, but no thanks, act as if it’s not a big deal, and follow it with, “That’s okay. I can live with that!”  Now you can go on with your life, knowing the facts and accepting them.  Hope this advice helps!