Dear Miss Emily:
I met my husband in med school.  I have known him for 10 years, and we’ve been married for 2 years. He has never been understanding, but wanted to marry me.  I am an Indian and am conditioned to have no sex before marriage, hence, I guess I forced an irresponsible person into marriage.  He switched into business after marriage. He ignores me completely, and he deliberately says he has no time for me or other trivial things like family life.  He prefers to spend time with his relatives and male friends. He doesn’t like my company and any conversation [if any] turns into an argument. He is never around when I need him, emotionally, and never calls me. I know that he is not cheating on me, but I also believe he has no respect for me and treats me like a housekeeper. Help!
Caste Away

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Caste:

You have described, not a marriage, but a master/servant arrangement. You don’t mention whether you have children, however, you do say he has no time for family life.  I take that to mean  you do have children or he has no interest in your family.  Is he Indian, as well?  From what I know, this type of patriarchal (women are subservient) approach to marriage is still entrenched in Indian culture, with dowries, and arranged marriages occuring between families. I know there are many exceptions, but do not know a woman's legal rights, if any.  From what I have read, divorce is on the rise in India and, if it’s at all possible, I would seek some advice on this matter.  I would tell him nothing about it, nor confide in anyone while seeking this information.  I’m not sure how successful you’d be in getting a divorce, but I would consider moving in that direction.  If you have a chance to pursue your own career in medicine, that would be the best approach, as you could become self-supporting.  Take what power you have and use it to get results.  Believe me, no man would be better than this man --  but that's for you to decide -- and a court of law.  In America, it's harder to get a good parking place, than a divorce!  Let me know what happens.  Please.