Dear Miss Emily:

I was in what I thought was a good relationship for almost 2 years.  I have not been with this man for 8 months, now he is telling me that he wants to be my friend.  How do I move on from what he has put me through?  And should I be friends with him and, if yes, how do I do that?
Trying My Best

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Trying:

I hope, deep down, you're not thinking that there is something wrong with you, because you can’t just flip a switch and go from one kind of relationship to another.  It might be easy for this guy to do it but, then, he’s the one who put you through the wringer.  You still have an emotional attachment to him, and that, I get.  But you can’t force yourself to feel differently than you do just because this guy either wants to assuage his guilt, or go after only what he chooses to get from you.  If you can’t be friends because it’s an awkward arrangement, or whatever your reasons of trepidation, I think you tell him so, and stand by your decision. There is no magic wand to expunge your memories of the past, unless you have a lobotomy!  Maybe, this time, your ex will have to settle for not getting his way.