Dear Miss Emily:

 In the beginning of the year, I started dating this guy. I ended things with him after about a month, because I wasn’t over my ex; but I really liked this guy. The way things played out, he needed a date to his school's homecoming (we go to different schools), but my ex and I were back together so I suggested that he go with my best friend. They went together and really hit it off. They began dating and soon got intimate. They were each others first and I was happy for them, but I was always secretly jealous of their relationship. Well, he ended things with her after about 4 months, and I was newly single, as well. After bumping into each other, we decided to go on a date. We really hit it off, and we ended up having sex. I regretted it, immediately, and ended things with him. I kept it a secret from my friend because I was scared over how she might react. I told only my other very good friends. Well, one day, recently, someone I trusted opened their mouth and told her and, now, she won't talk to me. I've called and apologized on numerous occasions, but she never backs down from hating me. But now the friends I thought I had are turning there back on me, and talking about me. When I confront them, they deny it. I don't mind not being friends with them, because I have other friends. But how do I shed them without being rude? What should I do about my friend who hates me?
Playing Both Sides

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------

Dear Playing:

I don’t think your problem is the issue of how you shed these friends without being rude.  I think you have to learn when to keep your mouth shut (sorry to be so blunt). If you want to prevent the kind of repercussions that we all face when we let people in on our business, and aren’t prepared for the consequences, this is what you must learn sooner, rather than later.  It’s really comes down to telling people only things you wouldn’t mind printed on the front page of the newspaper. People love to share stories and gossip, and it’s so tempting that they will risk everything to spread it.  Sure, there are people whom you can trust, but you’d pretty much have to know that you could stake your life on them not blabbing.  Spend your time with friends that you enjoy, and forget the betrayal.  One day, they will be in your shoes.  Your friend really has no right to pass judgment on your sleeping with this guy, but I wonder if you did it just to exhibit some power play over her. Would she also be mad because she's your "best friend" and you told someone else rather than her?  If I were you, the lesson learned from this is to have more respect for yourself and make choices that help rather than hinder your growth. There’s nothing you can do about this friend who “hates you,” but I think she’ll eventually get over it.  That’s the best advice this, one time, teenager can give because, believe me, I’ve been there!!!!!