Dear Miss Emily:

I recently started seeing a great guy.  We were getting along so well, until he told me he was seeing another woman.  Mentally, I could accept this because we have a new relationship and aren't dedicated/committed to each other. Emotionally, I let the feelings of fear and rejection get out of hand.  We had 2 big conversations about it, and I took some time to figure out what I wanted.  I've decided to keep seeing him while also seeing other people so neither of us feel pressured.  I admit I took it too seriously, too quickly, but have now backed off.  But even with our last conversation, we're not as comfortable anymore.  How do I make our time getting to know each other less awkward now?  I know what I'm doing now, and don't want to freak him or myself out.  Thanks.
In A Pickle

-------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------

Dear Pickle:

What you say in your letter sounds good, but who are you trying to convince – me or you?   He’s been honest about this, but so what?  Maybe you are cutting him some slack, because it’s Spring and you understand that this is a time when guys feel a need to pollinate many flowers. Yes, you have no commitment.  But it seems a little like a contest – stick around long enough and see if the other girl might be the loser. You were never wrong to want to see this guy without the need to compete.  I get what you’re saying when you blame yourself for being a bit put off by his news, and you might have overreacted by letting your guard down, but it’s time to reevaluate your position. Telling me that you have decided to see him, and at the same time other people so both of you don’t feel pressured is laughable.  There’s been no pressure on his part.  Get real!  If you stay in, and he grows on you even more, is it still okay for him to say, “I think you’re really a great lady, but I have a lot of great gals in my harem!”  I might be exaggerating, but it’s not wrong to want to explore a relationship with another person without having to feel you are on trial.  The awkwardness comes from the reality of the situation, and I don’t think that will change. If I were you, I’d follow my gut feeling (you know, the one you're ignoring), and not be too available to see him.  He’ll get the idea.  If he asks what’s up (and he will), tell him you’ve reassessed the situation and you want to let it rest for a while.  If he really cares, he’ll not only respect your emotional strength, but possibly feel it’s worth exploring a relationship with you unencumbered by outside influences.  Better to find out what he's made of now, rather than after you have handed him your heart on a silver platter.  Keep me posted on what happens.  Please!!!!