Dear Miss Emily:

I found out a little over a month ago that my boyfriend was cheating on me with a girl that I had grown up with, but she did not know that we were dating because I haven’t talked to her in so long.  We broke up and I tried so hard to stay friends with him, but he doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me, and it’s killing me. I want to get over him so bad but I’m not sure how.  Sometimes I wish I hadn’t ever met him!  While we were going out, I would skip some classes to go hang out with him (I’m only a junior in high school).  I would go to all my really important classes but, now, I barely go to school at all! It’s like I’m searching for a way to get over him and the things I’m finding are not helping me.  All my life I have struggled in school, but I only have a year left and I don’t want to blow it.  How do I make myself want to go to school and do all my work so I can go to college and have a future?  How do I learn not to want to look back on him?
Frozen In Time
 

--------------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------------

Dear Frozen:

My heart goes out to you, because one of the saddest things about your letter is that this guy has treated you with a total lack of respect and, rather than be angry and move on, you’ve given away your power and have allowed this to control your every waking hour.  I don’t think he wanted to stay friends because you are a reminder of his selfish side – the one who cheated on you when you trusted him.  You are depressed and you feel hopeless.  I understand.  But if you had a crystal ball, what do you think you would see that your future holds for you?  Do you see your life controlled by your emotions, causing continual angst when others do not behave the way you had wished?  Or do you see a future that holds promise because you realized that, although life can be tough, you faced it head on with maturity and grace.  We are the captain of our ship.  If we fail to navigate it properly, we invariably find ourselves at the center of a storm, and the way out seems almost insurmountable.  Right now, you are in that place, but ask yourself how long you want to be there? Make the choice to stay and be miserable or find a way out.  I know what I would choose.  I’d get back to class – inform my teachers that I have had some personal problems, but I am now ready to do what is necessary to catch up.  If you commit to this plan, it will keep you focused on your needs, rather than perpetually rehashing the plot line of this rather bad B movie you have been living.  My crystal ball tells me you can, and will succeed in finding your way out of this abyss.