Dear Miss Emily:

Ok, I have been with my bf for almost 4 years. We
have a 21/2 year old daughter, we own a house together, and we share all
the household bills, 50/50.  My concern is that he says that he never wants to marry me.    He was engaged about 10 years ago, and they ended up not getting married.  I am feeling like I am not good enough, but this girl was good enough for him, even though they eventually broke it off.  Should I just cut my losses now, and venture out on my own, or stick it out with a guy who says he loves me, but will never marry me?

Not good enough

----------------Miss Emily's advice---------------

Dear not good enough:

Famous last words: “Never!” Someday, he may change his mind.  It seems that your boyfriend decided marriage wasn’t right for him a long time ago.  At least he’s been honest with you.  If he has had divorce in his family, this could be a reason.  Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce, and it might be that he does not want to risk becoming a statistic.  That said, ask yourself what he does bring to the table.  Is he a good mate?  Is he a good father?  Does he satisfy a great number of your emotional and physical needs?  If so, let the marriage issue go.  You know where he stands on this and, bringing it up makes you look needy.  Not a good stance if you hope that he will, eventually, change his mind.  Some of the best unions are those who decided that marriage means a ring and a legal document, and nothing more.  Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell!  Commitment is feeling, not a label.  Make your decision to stay or leave based on the strength of the bond you share – one being that sweet, 2 ½ year-old daughter.