At a Crossroads

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years.  I am 22 and he's 21. We met in the 10th grade and have been together since. We have been through a lot together; from long distance relationship when he moved away to college, to moving in together when I moved to be close to him and switched schools.  He just finished his degree and we moved together to another state for his career. We plan to marry next year, in August. I love him very much.  Lately, some old issues have been raised that have concerned me. Because he and I have been together sense the 10th grade, we have both never had any other real relationships or sexual partners. He has voiced his concern that he has never experienced a relationship or sex with anyone, but me, before. Usually, the topic comes up and we have a long talk about it. After we talk, he usually concludes that he is willing to give up those experiences and be satisfied with having found his soul mate so young.  But recently, it has changed to more of a worry for him. He asks me if I would be open to having a three-some, or just to let him experiment.  I have not been supportive of these suggestions, as I am not open to a three-some.  I have an expectation that if I can be happy with just him, why can't he?  I love him with everything I am, and would probably forgive him anything.  But I am feeling hurt that he is so unsatisfied with our relationship that he wonders what else is out there.  Should I be more open to his unique situation of only having been with one person? Would it be healthy for him to be allowed to experiment? Do I have to be a part of his exploration?  I feel like he will find someone else. I fear that a casual night with someone else could become a relationship with someone else.  I don’t want him to feel like he is stuck with me, and I don’t want him to look back and be disappointed that he picked me so young.  Is our relationship doomed for failure because we are both so inexperienced in love?  I feel like we have a very open and honest relationship. And the fact that he came to me with his concerns about this subject, I think, proves that.  But I just need help. I don’t know what is best for him and our relationship.  Is there a correct answer to my dilemma? In one hand, I have my morals and beliefs and, in the other, I have the happiness of the man I love.
At A Crossroads

--------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-----------------------

Dear At A Crossroads:

It isn’t often when two people can find the kind of love that you and this man have together, but  I have witnessed it.  And many times it is with two people who found each other early in life, and they had the wisdom to see that there was no need to look elsewhere.  You see that, but this man does not.  There is no way, from what you’ve told me, that you can allow yourself to acquiesce to a three-way.  And who would this candidate be -- the “Paris Hilton look-a-like” who lives on the first floor?  The reason that you are satisfied with this man is because he fulfils ALL of your needs.  It would be easy to explain his request by thinking that guys are different – that their primal desires are greater, but that would be an excuse for bad behavior.  You are intelligent.  I think you realize that if he needs to have a sexual fling, he will find a way (with or without your consent), and it would be futile to stand in his way.  The lid on this “Pandora’s Box” is open, and you are not at fault.  There is the possibility that your future with this man MAY be in jeopardy.  Be absolutely sure that this matter is resolved before the “save the date” announcements have been mailed.