Dear Miss Emily:

I am a twenty-year-old female.  I've been dating this guy for about nine months and since the beginning he has cared so much about me. He has been understanding and given me so much attention. A few months ago, he moved to a different state. At first, he talked to me every day and told me how much he missed me. He told me he wanted me to move there. We visited each other a couple times, and he made me so happy.  Lately, he will not call me or answer his phone, even though I call him every day.  He didn't even talk to me on Valentine's Day.  He answers about once a week, just to tell me he's too busy to talk.  He still told me he misses me and he's working three jobs and going to school so I understand why he is so busy, but, I feel like if he wanted to talk to me he would at least have a minute. I feel like I am not important to him and I am bothering him.  I have to keep calling him until he will talk to me about it, but I don't know if I should be mad or just keep trying to act like it's okay.  I don't even know what to say about it. We were so close so I don't know if I should feel this way.
Keep Calling

--------------------------Miss Emily’s advice---------------------

Dear Keep Calling:

This gutless wonder can’t tell you it’s over. That is why, I believe, he thinks the best way to handle you is to ignore your calls in hopes that you’ll, eventually, get the message and fade away.  He’s come to believe, now, “out-of-state – out-of-mind.”  And he’s most likely found someone new.   This is the way I see it.  It’s stunning to me that anyone who once cared a great deal for another person would treat them so shabbily.  But common decency does not come as part of the hardware when we are born – it is taught.  Your only hope is that, someday, he’ll get a dose of his own medicine.  Stop calling him, because when you do this, you give him an excuse as to why he no longer wants a relationship. In other words:  "She's a pest and clueless!"  It will take a while for you to get over this but, hopefully, you’ll end up a little wiser, and a little stronger.