Dear Miss Emily:

I really like this guy, and I’m too shy to tell him. But a lot of people think he likes me too, and I don’t know if I should believe them or not. So I need to know the signs guys give to let you know they like you. And I need to get up the guts to tell him how I feel, but I‘m really, really shy.... Please help
Timid Soul

-------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------------

Dear Timid:

I’m not really sure why other people think he likes you, but you question it.  I do understand that sometimes it’s hard to really know if friends are telling you what you want to hear or, perhaps they have a “mean streak” in them.  Sometimes it’s innocent enough – they have a need for a vicarious thrill.  Being shy is such an obstacle at times, isn’t it?  It takes a while to learn that getting what you want requires you to speak up and ask for it.  But your fear of rejection is probably the main issue here – like it is for so many of us.  I think a guy lets you know he likes you by making an effort to be around – catches your eye – pays special attention.  I would plan an outing with friends and include him. Try to get to know him by striking up a conversation that is friendly, but keep it general and not too personal.  Judge him by the interest he takes in what you have to say.  Baby steps is the best way for a shy person to build confidence.  Taking no action, however, would stall your need for positive emotional development.