Dear Miss Emily:

How do you not let your partner’s child, from a different woman, not bug you?
Struggling

----------------------------Miss Emily’s advice-------------------------

Dear Struggling:

It’s difficult, but not impossible.  Difficult, because it seems to be a big problem in our society.  Numerous divorces – the changing of partners – creating blended families. And lots of new families screwing things up, because no one is getting along, and everyone blames the other party or parties.  Sounds like a good reason to join a convent, doesn’t it?  But the children suffer the most.  They do not choose their parents, and are often forced into situations they cannot control. Now, why it’s not impossible, however, to make it work.  Realize that your attitude has to change.  Start viewing the child as an individual.  See what you can offer this person that no one else can give.  If you are smart, you will create a bond with this child, so that the time you spend together is not done with gritted teeth or, worse, overt rejection.  A child is like a pet, it senses when you don’t like it.  I know that taking the high road is not always easy.  It’s often something we wish we had done after the dust settles, and it’s too late to repair the damage.  If you are a caring person, you will demand of yourself an attitude adjustment concerning this child.  Do it before things gets out of hand.