Dear Miss Emily:

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years in a long distance relationship. He is now saying he wants freedom because he does not want to be controlled. He said his ex-wife never let him go out with his friends and now he feels I am trying to do the same thing.  He is saying we should end our "intimate" relationship and not hold each other back from going out and doing things. He lives in Europe. I see him every few months and he is now saying I probably will never move out there. I want to be with him but he is immature and I love him.  I don't have any interest in dating anyone else and he is not dating anyone else. He says he loves me and cares about me and I am like family to him. He was married for 15 years and I met him after he divorced his wife. I was calling him every few days and texting him about 2x a day.  How much freedom does he need? He wants us to be friends and to keep in touch as usual.  I am not sure if it is space he wants or just to be free to go out and drink at night with his friends without strings attached.
Crestfallen

--------------------------Miss Emily’s advice------------------------

Dear Crestfallen:

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this man truly does want his freedom, and he hasn’t been all that subtle in saying it.  I don’t understand why he told you he wants to go out with his friends when your long-distance relationship gives him all the time in the world to do so.  If he has the need to see them the rare times that you do get together, the man's outright selfish and could be just a "guy's guy" who would really rather be drinking with his buddies.  That said, when someone tells you that they love you and you’re like family to them, either run for the hills and accept your loss, or see the man in a sister-type relationship; one who will counsel him on his latest love interest.  He’s moved on, and so should you.  It's sad, but even sadder if you waste precious time.