Dear Miss Emily:

Right, well, basically the guy I have just broken up from still loves me, and I love him too. However, the distance between us is too great, and I don't think that we could ever have a truly intimate relationship because my mum says that I'm not old enough to go and visit him in Ireland.  And, unfortunately, the guy has dyslexia; which means that he can't travel on his own to my country because he can't read the terminal signs, and things like that. I've offered to help him book the flight, and I've told him he can ask for help in the airport but he's too proud. We're currently trying to be friends, but we argue a lot,  or we cross the boundaries of just friends. I don't know what to do please help :/

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

It's a tough, tough situation to be in. As I tell all my advice seekers with this problem, long distance relationships are hard in the best circumstances -- when time, money, and opportunity are not obstacles. Age, and his situation keep you apart. There's no viable answer to that in the immediate future. Yes, it would be nice if he could challenge himself to visit (it's not terribly far), but he won't, and he shouldn't made to feel bad, or badgered if he can't. We all have our  vulnerable side.  One can only hope that, in the future, he overcomes his anxiety around it, and finds reasonable solutions. Traveling is a great thing to do. Relationships, as you are well aware, are best played in real time, and when physical touch and shared experiences allow it to prosper.  You said it's hard to create true intimacy in this situation, and I agree. What you have, because you and he still have deep feelings for each other, is a lot of frustration. It heightens sensitivity, and produces knee jerk responses. The LDR can also invite trust issues. I don't want to deter you from keeping some kind of friendship. You won't always be this age, and if  you maintain a level of contact, more could come of it down the road.  But be realistic, and don't make him the center of your world. Be willing to seek out relationships in your area. We can love a lot of people in the world, but timing is often everything. If you and he can't make a friendship work, you'll have to back out -- at least for a while. Meeting people in other countries through the Internet has created countless, long distance relationships. One one hand, it seems pretty cool! On the other, it can give you what you have now -- a lot of angst.