<![CDATA[Ask Miss Emily - Articles - General]> http://www.askmissemily.com en-us N/A emily@askmissemily.com Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:20:27 MDT 20 <![CDATA[Cheating On Test]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2381/1/Cheating-On-Test/Page1.html
Hi, I really need some help. I cheated on a Spanish test because I was really confused on what I was doing. I don't understand Spanish at all and was too afraid to ask for help. I'm so afraid of what my parents are going to say.

--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------

If you got caught, and your parents will be notified, you need to tell them what you told me. If your parents will not be told, don't do it, again! Lesson learned.  Tell your parents, or teacher you need tutoring because you are falling behind, it's a struggle to understand much of the material, and you need help NOW. The emotional trauma of this incident will fade, in time,  but there will be a multitude of tests coming your way, and it's best to find solutions before it, negatively, affects your outlook on school. When that happens, it can alter the course of your life.
no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Thu, 12 Sep 2013 16:58:42 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2381/1/Cheating-On-Test/Page1.html
<![CDATA[Out Of Town]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2379/1/Out-Of-Town/Page1.html no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Tue, 10 Sep 2013 17:14:01 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2379/1/Out-Of-Town/Page1.html <![CDATA[Stay, Or Leave Lousy Job With Good Pay And Benefits?]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2363/1/Stay-Or-Leave-Lousy-Job-With-Good-Pay-And-Benefits/Page1.html
Hey Emily!

I am currently working at a position that seems to be perfect: I am full-time, Monday to Friday, with great pay and good benefits. My only problem is - I hate my job. I hate my life when I'm at work, and when I get home from work, I complain until I go to sleep at night.  I was recently offered a part-time position (only 15 guaranteed hours a week with the POSSIBILITY of more hours) doing a job that I love! I just don't know if it is a smart decision to give up pay and benefits, but gain a lot of happiness!!

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

Happiness is good. Poverty is not! It's one thing to have a cut in pay, but only 15 hours offered, and no promise of more? That's a big concern. I know that one of the worst things about many jobs in the U.S. (and I'm guessing you live here because of the nature of the problem) is that benefits can be the reason to stay in a lousy one. In countries that have single payer, or universal health care, you're assured it no matter where you work. In the U.S., in 2014, you will have to have health insurance (or pay a fine) either through your job, or  buy it privately.  It seems reasonable to demand that everyone buy it because, for so long, those who didn't have it, others had to pick up the slack if there's a serious injury, or even a hospital emergency room visit.  If money isn't an issue, then I say, by all means, go for something you love . But if you have rent, bills, a car, and all the things that are financial responsibilities which would be hugely compromised if you made this move, I would hold off until I had something more certain in terms of hours, future, and ease of living your everyday life. Until you decide, try to shut off work as soon as you get out the door. Compartmentalize. The job does not have to own you 24/7. Complaining gets old -- for you, and for anyone who has to hear it.   

no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Fri, 23 Aug 2013 23:22:56 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2363/1/Stay-Or-Leave-Lousy-Job-With-Good-Pay-And-Benefits/Page1.html
<![CDATA[Icertified.net]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2362/1/Icertifiednet/Page1.html PRIVATE E-MAIL TO THOSE WHO HAVE THEM ROUTED THROUGH ICERTIFIED.NET.  ]> no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Fri, 23 Aug 2013 22:42:21 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2362/1/Icertifiednet/Page1.html <![CDATA[Family Worried Over Member's Sleazy Boyfriend]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2358/1/Family-Worried-Over-Member039s-Sleazy-Boyfriend/Page1.html
Dear Miss Emily:
My 19 year old sister has a boyfriend, the same age, who has stolen from my father, tried to steal from me, and manipulates her in many, many different situations. He makes her feel as if we are all against her. We are all moving, soon, and will be going our separate ways. I am so afraid that he will steal, or do something else that will get her hurt because of her association with him. He cannot fight and does not have the will to stand up for her, or to protect her if something bad happens. We've all tried to make her see the type of person he really is, but he has her so wrapped around his finger that she is blind to the bad that he does. We just don't know what to do and, soon, we won't be there to protect her. How can we help her to see who he really is, and to help her move past him? Please help us.

--------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

I am so sorry. Slippery characters like him are manipulators, because that's how they get through life to cover their inadequacies. He may have had a rudderless childhood, and/or lack a conscience. If your father and you had proof he stole, it might have been wise to file a police report, but you didn't mention that was the case. Perhaps, with strong, emotional support from the family once you've moved (and that does not mean disparaging her boyfriend) will help. She may find the ability to be objective about him once she's on her own without family around, rather than feeling she has to defend him against others rebuke. Many people see criticism of this nature as an insult to them.  She picked him, and it insults her character to find fault with her choice.  She's 19, however, and if she has a way to keep food in her mouth, and a roof over her head, it's unlikely there's anything the family can do that's proactive. Again, open lines of communication, now, and once the family is gone is important. Telling her that she always has a place in the family unit is imperative.


no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Tue, 20 Aug 2013 23:37:15 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2358/1/Family-Worried-Over-Member039s-Sleazy-Boyfriend/Page1.html
<![CDATA[MESSAGE TO ADVICE SEEKERS]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2357/1/MESSAGE-TO-ADVICE-SEEKERS/Page1.html I WAS CALLED OUT OF TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS, BUT  I'M BACK AND WILL BEGIN POSTING, AGAIN. MOST OF MY ADVICE IS SENT PRIVATELY, WHETHER IT'S REQUESTED ON THE FORM, OR NOT.  I POST ONLY 1-3  LETTERS A DAY.  THANKS, EM ]> no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Mon, 19 Aug 2013 18:00:00 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2357/1/MESSAGE-TO-ADVICE-SEEKERS/Page1.html <![CDATA[MESSAGE TO ADVICE SEEKERS]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2348/1/MESSAGE-TO-ADVICE-SEEKERS/Page1.html PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR CORRECT E-MAIL ADDRESS WHEN WRITING TO ME. I NOT ONLY FEEL BAD WHEN THE INDIVIDUAL DOES NOT GET MY RESPONSE, BUT IT TAKES TIME FOR ME TO WRITE THEM, AND IT ENDS UP BEING A WASTED EFFORT FOR BOTH PARTIES.  THANKS, EM ]> no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Wed, 07 Aug 2013 18:20:53 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2348/1/MESSAGE-TO-ADVICE-SEEKERS/Page1.html <![CDATA[To Advice Seekers]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2330/1/To-Advice-Seekers/Page1.html I have been out of town for a few days,  but I will start posting, again, tomorrow. Remember, most of my replies are sent, privately, to your e-mail address. That is why it's important to send the right address.  Do check your spam in case it gets send there.  :) ]> no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Tue, 23 Jul 2013 01:47:59 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2330/1/To-Advice-Seekers/Page1.html <![CDATA[She Wants to Be A Filmmaker]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2324/1/She-Wants-to-Be-A-Filmmaker/Page1.html
I need your help. I want to become a filmmaker and live in the U.S., but I can't because I'm not a U.S. citizen, and I don't have a green card. And I can't apply for one because I don't have close relatives there, and I don't want to marry a guy just so I can get a green card. I just want to walk the streets of NYC, get some food out. I want to work in Hollywood and in movie productions. I want to make really good movies, but I can't and this is really depressing. This is the only thing I want to do in life. I feel my whole life wasted if I don't do this. I feel total shit and I hate myself for it. Please help.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

You didn't mention your age, but going to school in the U.S -- in New York, or Los Angeles, is one possibility. You want to learn the business, and that's one of the best ways to do it. If that's not possible, I think it's a good idea to get into anything your country has to offer in that field -- either through school, or working at a production company.  Even if it's starting out on the lowest level and working your way up, you're learning as you go. I know a great number of films come out of the U.S., but if you were to prove yourself in the Philippines, it could bring you there. Also, consider writing and/or making short films.  Don't let your situation deter you. What you need is ambition and optimism. If you can make it in your country, you can have the flexibility to be internationally mobile.
no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Wed, 17 Jul 2013 02:49:03 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2324/1/She-Wants-to-Be-A-Filmmaker/Page1.html
<![CDATA[Finding Her Dad]> http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2322/1/Finding-Her-Dad/Page1.html
Dear Emily:
I've never met my dad. I'm guessing that he left my mom. My mom won't tell me anything about him. I was wondering if I could go to the hospital and get my birth certificate and see if it had my dad's name on it. I know my mom can't afford a lot of things for me and my twin sister (16 years old).

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

Because it appears you don't live in the U.S., I can't tell you where birth records are recorded. Your birth certificate could be on file with the city, or county where you were born. You could call your local city hall and see where they are kept, and how you can get a copy. If your father's name is on it, you could do a Google search and, also, look in the phone book to see if his name is listed -- although there may be several men with that name. That said, even if you were to find him,  it does not mean he wants to be a part of your and your sister's life, nor offer financial support. These situation are, often, disappointing, or end up to be heartbreaking for the children. A child can fantasize that the "unknown" parent is a caring and loving person -- even successful -- and all that parent needs is for his (or her) long lost child, or children to get in touch with him to form a happy union. But that may not be the case. Be prepared for any scenario. He may not want to be notified, have another family that does not know about you and your sister, or that space was left blank on the birth certificate.  It is my opinion,  you deserve to know the truth, and you might want to stress that fact to your mother.
no@spam.com (Miss Emily ) Mon, 15 Jul 2013 21:34:51 MDT http://www.askmissemily.com/articles/2322/1/Finding-Her-Dad/Page1.html